


awakening

by triviastar



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Divorce, Homesickness, M/M, i still dont know how to do tags sigh, im sorry i live for angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 04:20:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16779478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triviastar/pseuds/triviastar
Summary: 🏹 . . . in which jisung finds his comfort taken away faster than he found it and the seasons change.





	awakening

awakening 🌙

he could feel his desperation, desire to be loved and cared, to feel protected, not to be exposed raw, have a shoulder to cry on, someone to spill his heart out to. He could feel so much and he was drowning in them with no one to reach out to to save him. It has been months since their first argument which was followed by many to the one currently taking place in the kitchen. Their voices got louder by the second when the sound of glass shattering echoed through the rooms and there was pin-drop silence.

jisung tentatively walked to the stairs and looked down and saw his mother rush out of the home, head hung low as his father sits on the sofa, dabbing his forehead with his fingers with a pained expression. It has been the same since the day jisung’’s mother found out that he has a stepbrother. They never told him about it personally, but they didn't have to. jisung took a seat beside his father and sighed not knowing how to comfort him for he was the one at fault, and approached differently.

“what is he like?”

taking short breaths his father looks up, ghost of a smile on his face, “His name is changbin. He is older than you.” ,he continues in short sentences, “I've never seen anyone as passionate as him about painting.”, he laughs softly and looks straight into jisung’s eyes, “just like you are with dancing. You two would get along so well. only if…..”

Days went on, but instead of improving everything went downhill. jisung’s mother arrived home with divorce papers one evening, demanding to be let loose from the bonds of marriage. He could hardly process anything, when like a whirlwind the papers were signed, he was under his father's custody and was living in the last place expected, changbin's house.

They met when the birds chirped, the leaves swayed to the rhythm of the breeze, the sun shone brightly through the curtain gaps, the dust laid still. At first, no words were exchanged, the atmosphere thick with tension. changbin thought there would be hate and resentment from jisungs’s side, but he was emotionless. unable to bear the thick silence anymore, changbin spoke up for the first time since their encounter.

“sometimes, it’s okay to cry. Being strong is equivalent to bottling up your emotions.”

Being in his youth, like the unpredictable sea, his walls crumbled and tears came rolling down as changbin hesitantly wrapped his arms around a tired jisung, holding him tightly. As days turned to weeks, they made small talk, smiled, did little things for each other, eased at the new company. Slowly, the elder turned into a ray of sunshine and hope in his life. jisung and changbin met for the first time in summer, and jisung found happiness.

Soon months passed and the brisk summer sun was replaced with clouds. As jisung walked out of his room, frustrated, he notices the door of changbin’s painting room ajar. He never dared to enter there before feeling like an intruder, but today he stepped in and was awestruck. Sketches and sheer talent covered every corner of the room with changbin seated on a tool in the centre. His eyes hardly lost focus, unaware of the new presence. jisung didn't want to break his gaze, but couldn't help, “Is that me?”

The startled boy turned, wide eyed towards an apologetic jisung who moved forward, his hand hovering over the masterpiece.

“yes. i saw you dancing yesterday.”, changbin moved revealing a boy, head tilted, lips slightly parted and hands raised, detailing the pain, tears and passion burning in his eyes, “Why do you do it? Feel, even when it hurts?”

“In order to not get hurt, we need to feel the pain over again, until it loses it's power over us.”, jisung replies letting the sound of rain engulf the room, crying the tears of the lost youths.

\---

To jisung, changbin was a painting, too beautiful and flawless.

“Paintings do fade with time.”, changbin replied with a chuckle at his brother's confession. Tracing his hands over the cold empty sheets, jisung realised changbin was right all along. jisung’s life came to a still the moment he heard about changbin's accident who was declared dead on spot. His mind went blank, breathing strained, every cell in his body refusing to believe. Clutching his heart in pain, the harsh reality hit him like jagged icicles. The chilly winds made him realize, everyone's life is an autumn leaf, which falls and ceases to be. changbin's was just too early to shed.

Winter came earlier than expected, at least for jisung. His wishlist lengthened, but above everything he wished for more time with changbin. He stared at one of changbin's pictures and spoke in a hoarse voice, “Among all the things I wanted, I told you to never hurt me, yet that is exactly what you did. “, he paused, “Just like you came and fitted like the last piece of a puzzle, you left, letting the cold winds engulf me and freeze my fingertips until I could no longer feel them. All the good things came to an end. But my love for you, like the fire lighting all the young hearts, will never burn out, even with time.”

Months went by, but jisung still shut everyone out. On seventeenth march, his last day before adulthood, jisung walked out the house at night for a walk, his mind flashing with events that had occurred exactly four months ago. He aimlessly walked through the streets, the town clock dinged signifying midnight, when suddenly lights flashed, tyres screeched and a sharp pain shot through his body as he lost consciousness.

Days later when jisung woke up at the hospital bed, he noticed winter was gone. After he was discharged, he walked out with a small smile appreciating the soft pink cherry blossoms. He felt healed for the first time since changbin left. After all, it was spring, a new awakening.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ohh so this is something i had written long back idk how this is leave some constructive criticism bc im sure i need improvement and hopefully y'all like it ! 🌙


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